Westboro Baptist Weirdos a No-Show; That Would Make Fred Phelps a Flaming Liar

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The creeps from the Westboro Baptist "Church" didn't show up at the funeral for 24-year-old U.S. Army Spc. Jordan Christopher Schumann in Fort Pierce last night, which is good news for the rest of the 6.95 billion people on Earth who aren't part of the Kansas cult.

On the other hand, that would also make the church's pastor, Fred Phelps, a liar.

Phelps called the Pulp yesterday morning to let us know his minions would be dropping by with their "God Hates Fags" signs about half an hour before the funeral -- which never happened.

As "Pastor" Phelps should know, the Good Book has a thing or two to say about liars.

According to the Pulp's handy Bible, there are six things God "hates," and we'll give you a hint -- "fags" ain't one of 'em:

Proverbs 6:16-19

16 There are six things the LORD hates,
    seven that are detestable to him:
17  haughty eyes,
    a lying tongue,
    hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes,
    feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19  a false witness who pours out lies
    and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

Wow, that sounds a bit like Fred Phelps.

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