Broward News

What's a "Sex Couple"? (Also: Orgasms Worse Than Drugs)

Remember when the Sun-Sentinel gave its experienced, highly paid headline writers a buyout and replaced them with hastily trained gerbils?

No?

Well, frankly, I don't remember it either. Seems like something you'd recall, but oh well. In any case, somebody at the Sentinel should have objected, because now, when I click on the Sun Sentinel's "News" page, I am confronted with these distressing words:

"Prominent South Florida attorney going to prison for online sale of meds: Robert Smoley represented Broward sex couple Jeff and Kathy Willets"

Huzzawhat?

If you're a romantically attached Browardian, and many of us are, a headline like that will naturally instigate a whole parade of queasy thoughts. What's a "Broward sex couple"? Am I in one? Do I need representation?

Nein! A close read of the story reveals that, in fact, Jeff and Kathy were that briefly famous couple who did sex work for high-profile clients such as Fort Lauderdale's anti-vice vice mayor, Doug Danziger. No worries, Browardian-couples-who-have-sex. You're in the clear.

But a brief meditation upon the Jeff and Kathy Willets case makes me wonder: If Jeff and Kathy were sentenced to a combined seven years in prison for their for-pay kinkscapades, why the hell is their ex-lawyer getting less than four years for running a multimillion-dollar, international, prescription-drug-dealing operation? Jeff and Kathy just gave people orgasms. (Which they occasionally vidotaped.) Robert Smoley gave them crippling drug addictions. Doesn't seem fair, somehow.


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Brandon K. Thorp