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White Powder Sent to Allen West's Office

At the moment, we're waiting for news on what, exactly, the mysterious white powder sent to Allen West's office might be. Anthrax? Ajax? High-grade cocaine to fortify West's body for grueling battles against liberal Islamofascinazies?

Probably not the latter. West doesn't seem like a partier, and the white stuff came packed with a threatening letter. Obviously, the powder sent to West's office signifies something much less friendly: an attempt by somebody with extremely strong anti-Westian feelings to scare the man or hurt him.

Of course, neither will be accomplished, and whatever antidemocratic numbskull sent the thing has given West a brilliant new applause line at rallies.

It'll go something like this:

I stared down bullets in Iraq, and I've stared down anthrax threats at home. But I'm not backing down!

Or, better:

I've been shot at. I've been in a war zone. Somebody thinks a little bit of white powder's gonna keep me from speaking the truth? They're out of their minds.

Oh, goodness, the people will love it.

So, to the asshole who mailed the stuff: Thanks! You're a criminal and a fool, and you've just given Rep. West the opportunity to make anybody who doesn't like him look like a terror sympathizer. Enjoy your jail time.
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Brandon K. Thorp

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