You Can Buy "Flunked FCAT?" Shirts Online, and Yes, There Are Punctuation Errors | The Daily Pulp | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida


You Can Buy "Flunked FCAT?" Shirts Online, and Yes, There Are Punctuation Errors

There's been a lot of talk this week about Florida students' low scores on the FCAT Writing standardized tests. The grading system was changed to incorporate spelling and punctuation, and 73 percent of Florida fourth graders failed.

While the legislators and education people will be the ones to figure out the problem, there's somebody else with a hat in the ring -- designer KnightOwl, who sells shirts and bumper stickers, some of which make fun of the FCAT. According to KnightOwl, FCAT stands not for "Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test," but for "Forget College After This." Or "Florida Causing Adolescent Trauma," or, in a stretch, "Further Child Abuse Test."

The best part about KnightOwl's extensive offerings is how well they represent Florida's educational problems -- next to the FCAT shirts that are missing periods, for example, you can buy a bumper sticker that says "I'm The Proud Parent Of A Kid Wit ADHD Can't You Tell By My Erratic Drivin!" and another that says "Caution vehicle occupant makes frequent obscene gestures if u get to close."

There's also the "My chemistry student runs his own meth lab at home!" bumper sticker, and, a personal favorite, the T-shirt that says "I feel a ass kickin comin on."

But for all you FCAT students who are feeling down, don't worry -- "There's a point," according to another of KnightOwl's shirts, "when the PAIN you feel needs 2 drive u, 2 SUCCEED."

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Rich Abdill

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