Zombie Hookers Turning Tricks in West Palm Cemetery

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

It's hard to believe that there's a crack whore crazy enough to have sex in a graveyard; and it's even harder to believe that a john would follow her there. That's a B-movie murder scene waiting to happen.

So we're skeptical about this WPBF report about purportedly human sex activity in West Palm's Evergreen Cemetery. Rather, it sounds like we've got a group of zombie hookers on our hands.

If that's the case, a little B-movie research will tell you that the best strategy is to simply let them be. This is a transaction between consenting adults -- horny men; hungry zombies. He gets laid. She gets a tasty post-coital snack. Everybody's happy.

So stay away, pitchfork-wielding mobs. You don't want to provoke the undead.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.