Oprah Winfrey Kicks Off Her 2020 Wellness Tour With Lady Gaga

It’s the dawn of a new decade, and there’s a chance you’re still working on getting your shit together. It’s OK, because Oprah Winfrey is here to tell you what you need to do to live your best life — all for the low, low price of $70 to $300.

The media mogul will kick off her nine-city tour — 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus — in South Florida with special guest Lady Gaga at the BB&T Center in Fort Lauderdale January 4.

The TV personality has announced a different celebrity will grace each stop of her tour: writer, actor, and goddess Tina Fey in St. Paul, Minnesota; comedian Amy Schumer in Charlotte, North Carolina; actor Dwayne Johnson in Atlanta; former First Lady Michelle Obama in Brooklyn; actor Tracee Ellis Ross in Dallas; actor Kate Hudson in San Francisco; triple threat Jennifer Lopez in Los Angeles; and Winfrey’s BFF and news anchor Gayle King in Denver.

When you boil it down, it seems 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus will be a collection of Winfrey’s celebrity friends joining the former talk show host onstage to discuss their successes. We're not sure of the takeaway for guests here, but maybe some of the stars' accomplishments and glory will transfer via osmosis to the audience.

The event begins bright and early at 9 a.m. on a Saturday. According to Winfrey’s website, the first activity of the day is a "pre-show dance party." After shaking off your hangover, be prepared to create your own 2020 vision action plan. “Then a speaker will motivate [you] with some inspired words before Julianne Hough gets everyone out of their seats with a movement workshop.”

The event concludes with an interview of Winfrey's special guest.

In a letter to O Magazine readers, Winfrey penned, "My hope is to make 2020 the year of transformation for you — mind, body and spirit... Say goodbye to procrastination, denial, feeling stuck and wishing for a better life. This is going to be a day-long party for everyone, celebrating all that you are — and all that you're meant to be."

All of that stuff sounds super-inspirational: New decade, new you! Sure, Winfrey has worked hard to attain all she has now, but it seems presumptuous to assume that a woman of her means — the kind of person who has put herself on the cover of every one of the magazines released in her name — will be able to change the lot of working-class folks through an overpriced one-day seminar.

What if your bank account doesn’t look quite as plentiful as those of Winfrey or her famous friends? How will you afford that personal trainer or fancy meal plan to realize your wellness journey? Will Winfrey unlock some secret code for how to perfectly balance a nine-hour workday, an hours-long daily commute in Miami traffic, meal prep, eight hours of sleep a night, gym visits, quality time with loved ones, and a social life, all while paying the rent and buying groceries? Plus, as we seem to be told more and more in the absence of the meaningful societal change that would alleviate many of our most pressing anxieties, don't forget to schedule time for self-care.

It seems as though you’ll simply need to attend 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus to find the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Oh, and here’s the kicker: The tour is sponsored by WW, the reimagined Weight Watchers. Here’s hoping the ticket at least includes a steep discount for a subscription.

Oprah’s 2020 Vision: Life in Focus. 9 a.m. Saturday, January 4, at the BB&T Center, 1 Panther Pkwy., Sunrise; 954-835-8000; thebbtcenter.com. Tickets cost $70 to $300 via ticketmaster.com or ww.com/oprah.