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Best Way to Dispose of a Body

Gray Taxidermy

Throughout history and film noir archives, there are hundreds of creative ways to dispose of that most awkward bit of evidence, a body. Just as the Mob is synonymous with the cement-shoe swimming lesson, the Everglades drop-off is a South Florida staple. There are many more things you can do with dying flesh in a region with access to oceans, swamps, landfills, and Rush Limbaugh, but for the killer with pride — the kind who likes a trophy to show what a big man he is — there's only one place to go: Gray Taxidermy, the world's largest marine taxidermist. Just as Captain Bill Gray did more than 50 years ago, Gray's will turn your dead body into a work of art that you'll proudly prop up in any den, dining room, or dorm. Whether you killed a tiny, colorful character or a gigantic monster with man-eating jaws, Gray's will give you a reproduction that looks like it just came from the water. Note: For readers looking for the best way to dispose of a human body, the answer is definitely feeding it to Rush Limbaugh.

Best Yoga Studio

Yoga Warehouse

Some people want a yoga class that will make them sweat buckets or work their muscles so hard they'll be walking like a bowlegged cowboy all week. But if you're just looking to relax, mentally and physically, while getting a moderate workout, Yoga Warehouse has the formula. The yoga style is Hatha, which means there's emphasis on breathing exercises (that's pranayama to the yoga elites). The classes take place in an airy warehouse space that's cooled by fans. The vibe is friendly and intimate, with room for only about a dozen students. Most of the regulars are focused on enjoying the practice rather than showing off with complex strength postures and tortuous balancing poses. That is, until a train comes rumbling by on the tracks just outside.

Personal Best

Stanley C. Panther

If a middle initial in your name does, in fact, make you classier, Stanley C. Panther, the mascot for the Florida Panthers, is the classiest cat you'll ever meet. As he works the crowds at BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise with his permanently wide eyes and frozen grin, he's the silent type. He lets his six-foot-six (on skates) frame, furry brown coat, and Panthers sweater do the talking for him. And whatever he's doing, it seems to be working at least a little bit: though the Panthers didn't make the playoffs, they were the only major pro franchise from South Florida that didn't finish dead last this year. Now Stanley opens up to New Times about what it's like to stalk the arena every night and his thoughts on the rough times sports fans have had recently.

NT: You're constantly interacting with South Florida sports fans; how would you describe them overall? 

South Florida sports fans are by far the best in the business!  I've visited many other cities in my travels and I can honestly say that no one holds a candle to our fans!  Though not all South Florida sports fans are native Floridians, it is quite comforting knowing that those who truly are diehard fans would stop at nothing to show their support.  As for the folks who put on that "other jersey" once or twice a year... no comment.

Do you have a favorite B-movie or horror movie or sci-fi flick? 

I must say that being from the Everglades, SuperCroc was quite the thriller! 

Do you have any guilty pleasure movies? 

The movie Zoolander never gets old... plus, I can relate to being "Really, really, ridiculously good-looking!" 

 And finally, Stanley, if you were to star in a B-movie, what would it be about, and what would it be called? 

It would probably be in the form of an independent documentary that chronicles my daily activity in a single week.  Due to my demanding work schedule, I would foresee it being a three-part series comparable to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Star Wars, and The Godfather...only better.

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