A Valentine's Date Night With Kinky Friedman (Yes, He's Still Alive)

Mr. Entertainment is a South Florida musician and has been a herald of the local scene since the 19-somethings. He serves as unofficial Musical Mayor of Hollywood.

So my wife opens the paper up yesterday and says, “Kinky Friedman is playing tonight?”

I say, “He can’t be. I think he is dead."

We're halfway through a bottle of wine, but once we realize Kinky is in fact more than alive, my wife says, “Come on, we gotta go. It’s Kinky Friedman." We squeeze in a quick disco nap in preparation.

If you don't know who Kinky Friedman is, then you've no idea what type of legend you missed. He's a Texas outlaw singer, author, and somewhat politician who's a true throwback to a time before political correctness. He has his own brand of tequila — or, as he calls it, “Mexican mouthwash” — had a band called the Texas Jewboys, and was voted many years ago by the National Organization of Women as the Male Chauvinist Pig of the Year for his song “Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed."

The show is at Luna Star Cafe in North Miami. Kinky has 8 and 10 p.m. performances scheduled, and we just make it in time for the 8 p.m. show. Luna Star is a quaint establishment where the local folkies meet. It is an intimate setting where you sit close to people you have never met before, who conjure up conversation in a comfortable way. The food is excellent, the staff stellar, wine and beer list is satisfying. You could close your eyes and be in the Village or Grove of the '60s in a place like this. A perfect setting.

We sit down in some of the last few seats available, dead center, about three people away from Kinky, and sure as shit, there he is, taking a swig off of his mouthwash.

Brian Molnar, who produced Kinky’s new release, The Loneliest Man I Ever Met, his first studio record in three decades, also opens up the show. Molnar performs a half-dozen or so songs in the style of Townes Van Zandt, including an excellent version of Townes' “Pancho and Lefty." Then it's time for Kinky Friedman.

He's dressed in all black, with his star-studded guitar strap, bottle of tequila, own brand of cigar, and humor too. Kinky sticks to G and D chords, with an occasional C or E minor for good measure. This is storytelling and songwriting, not fucking jazz or flamenco. He performs his classics, like “Western Union Wire” and “How Can I Tell You I Love You (When You’re Sitting on My Face)." 

His in-between banter is as important as the songs themselves. He tells a story of how Warren Zevon was a complete asshole alcoholic and once he quit the bottle, he still was an asshole, then segued into Zevon’s “My Shit Is Fucked Up." It all hits me, though, when Kinky sings his rendition of Tom Waits' “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” and I hear the last line, “Come Valentine’s Day." I know then that my wife and I are on the perfect Valentine’s date. Long live Kinky Friedman.