But we also know that the delicate 42-year-old diva probably still has a lot of things going on, like playing Canadian board games with her 9-year-old son or planning future Canadian business ventures with her 68-year-old husband/manager. So we did Celine a favor and assembled a list of the best possible baby names for her newborn twins -- assuming they didn't throw up the devil horns in the womb.
The twins are reportedly boys, so our name list leans on the masculine side, but all of these names could be used for a wealthy celebrity baby of either sex. (And it's not like her first son, Rene, has such a strong boy's name anyway.)
1) Leslie and Nielsen
That's right, she could go the easy route and name the boys after the greatest Canadian to ever walk the face of South Florida, the man himself, the Leslie Nielsen. The downside to these names, of course, is that her two younger sons would have such immense pressure to live up to their namesake. In some parts of Canada, the phrase "Leslie Nielsen" actually means "King of Kings."
2) Near and Far
Rarely in history have two simple words taken a single Canadian singer to such social heights. If there happens to be a third child lurking in her womb, this naming system sort of falls apart. Yes, Near and Far are great celebrity children names, but "Wherever You Are" seems a bit cruel.
3) Leon Dion and Neon Dion
Leon Dion would grow up to be pretty damned cool. He might be the kind of guy whom great musicians might jam with. Neon Dion, however, might be a little weird. But he'll still be rich.
This would take guts, but Celine just might be popular enough to make it work. So Accor Dion would be a nice shoutout to a musical instrument. And Nicklo Dion, in addition to sounding kind of Italian, would also be a reference to the children's network that brought America "You Can't Do That on Television" and fellow Canadian Alanis Morissette.
5) James and Cameron
This would be a dedication to the director. She was famous before that, but if James Cameron had never made Titanic, Celine Dion may never have had a chance to sing the most celebrated Canadian love song of all time.
6) Be-oote and Be-aste
From that other '90s movie featuring a love song from Celine Dion.
7) Kate and Leo
Like the actors in Titanic, right? You might be thinking, "Kate doesn't sound like a boy's name." And you might be right, if the boy wasn't already destined to be one of the most absurd characters in Canadian celebrity offspring history. Also, Leo, unfortunately, does not grow up to be as cool as Leon Dion, from above.
8) Jack and Rose
Similar situation to number 7, but with the characters' names. There's also the small matter of whether these names imply some future incest or nude modeling. That probably shouldn't be an issue, but I wouldn't leave them alone for long in the backseat of a car on a giant boat.
9) Pierre Jean and Jean Pierre
To you, these names might sound too similar to each other to work for potentially rambunctious twin boys, but in Canadian, these are distinct, separate sounds meaning vastly different things. And if it's really that confusing, call one "P.J." and call the other "We never loved you anyway."
10) Husband and Manager
Careful, Celine: It can be easy to get these two confused.
