Navigation

Justin Bieber vs. Lindsay Lohan: Who is The Bigger Loser?

Yesterday, TMZ reported that Justin Bieber had woken up on the wrong side of the bong - excuse us - wrong side of the bed, and was talkin' some mad smack about Lindsay Lohan for no good reason. Before noon, Le Biebz and his PRmy had already issued an apology...
Share this:

Yesterday, TMZ reported that Justin Bieber had woken up on the wrong side of the bong - excuse us - wrong side of the bed, and was talkin' some mad smack about Lindsay Lohan for no good reason.

Before noon, Le Biebz and his PRmy had already issued an apology.

But County Grind isn't satisfied. When Bieber went out of his way to mock Lindsay and her financial woes - a cheap-and-smarmy way to brag about his own success - he employed a five letter word that we don't lightly 'round these parts.

We'll give you a hint. It starts with the letter "L" and ends with "oser."



Calling someone a "loser" is mean. And we're not even entirely sure Justin has much of a case.



The Case For Lindsay Lohan's Loserdom

OK, fine. Homegirl has some problems. And most of them are drugs. Although you might argue that drugs are merely surface symptoms of more deeply-rooted psychological disorder. But you're probably an excuses-and-scams addict yourself, ya freakin' junkie.



Reasons Why One Might Consider Justin Bieber a Loser

1. He is a lowly worm-slave to the mighty deity he worships: Cannabis.

2. His reefer habit is so out of control that he has been showing up late to concerts and inspiring arenas full of his own fucking fans to boo him and call him a salty fancy boy.

3. That's on a good day. On a bad day, the concert doesn't even happen because tickets are selling like beepers.

4. He got so high that his decision-making processes fell to pieces and he recklessly gave some strange trick his pet hamster, much to the chagrin of the California Hamster Association. And the CHA was right! Because Bluntin' Bieber was so god damn stoned and irresponsible, that hamster is dead as shit!

If you ask us, the Bieber doth protest too much!



KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.