Alanis Morissette is pregnant with ex-Boca rapper Souleye's baby.
The question now stands: What will the happy couple name their love child? Considering we can't stop all productivity to party for the occasion, we decided to help out.
That's why we're creating the first-ever entry in the New Times baby book: Six Names Alanis Morissette Could Name Her New Baby.
Check them out after the jump.
6. Soul-Anis
Souleye's name combines two words: soul and eye. Hell, maybe the kid will marry a pretty folk singer because of it. Plus, it just flows nicely.
5. Blueberry
If Gwyneth Paltrow can have Apple and Courtney Cox can have Coco, what's wrong with Blueberry? That's right: Nothing!
4. Irony
Alanis Morissette is famous for abusing, misinterpreting, and slaughtering the good grammar of the word ironic. So what's more ironic than writing a song that doesn't define irony the way Webster intended? Naming your child after it.
3. Steven Slater
Alanis drops the F-bomb in her songs, and Slater, of JetBlue kerfuffle fame, drops the F-bomb via intercom. What better connection do you need?
2. Luigi
Souleye's birth name is "Mario Treadway," and what's a Mario without his Luigi? We're also hoping that the name would give the kid superhuman gaming skills -- thus earning the child its own fame. He could then go on to rescue his own Princess Peach from the depths of unknown Boca rapping despair, just like Mommy.
1. Jesse
What better way to get back at Dave Coulier than naming him after the hunkier, still successful uncle on Full House? Sure, Alanis wrote "You Oughta Know" about him, but that was 15 years ago. That breakup needs one last stab in the heart (or jagged little pill) before it can really be over.
