Sweet mercy, bring me strong liquor in large containers, for I have just learned that Allen West is "not a kitten kind of guy."
Yes. Allen West prefers puppies. Didja hear that? Puppies.
This information comes atcha courtesy of the Sun-Sentinel. No, it does not report that Allen West prefers puppies when looking for something to strangle with his bare hands, or that he enjoys biting off their horrible yapping heads when he tires of their demands for handouts. No. The Sentinel really is reporting that Allen West... likes puppies.
And that's not all!
When Allen West planted himself in the Sentinel's so-called
"Hot Seat," he was asked not only about kitty cats and puppy dogs but
also about his preferences in motorcycles, reality shows or dramas,
guesting on Fox News or NBC, Donald Trump or Sarah Palin, and cocktail
parties or tea parties.
His answers: Harleys (he's got a new one
with a "patriotic paint job"), dramas ("There's a lot of drama in being a
politician, so that fits me rather well"), both (Fox versus NBC depends on
one's desired "level of intensity" -- occasionally NBC is "fun"),
neither (given a choice between Trump and Palin, West
signified his disapproval with a rude noise), and
tea parties (he doesn't drink booze and has a special fondness for
Earl Grey).
And there you have it! You can watch the whole thing here. When I watched, I noticed that the Sun-Sentinel newsroom
hasn't changed much since I worked there as a high school student -- in
fact, the spot where West is sitting looks like it might be the same
desk where I once edited other teenagers' stories as part of the Sentinel's
"Next Generation" program. As I recall, our journalism was not especially
hard-hitting. But it was a helluva lot better than this.
Follow The Juice on Twitter: @ TheJuiceBPB.
