People of the internet, I have an important announcement -- I need to borrow $100,000. Why, you ask? Because that's how much ex-Bears head coach and current ESPN talking head Mike Ditka says it will take for him to Prancercise.
I feel like this is where the post should end, and we should pass around a hat, but I accept the fact that you may have a question or two.
Ditka is teaming up with Prancercise creator and Coral Springs resident Joanna Rohrback to raise money for the Gridiron Greats foundation, a charity that helps raise funds for down-on-their-luck retired NFL players so they can improve their quality of life through added disability, rehabilitation, health insurance, and retirement programs. This is a really real thing that is happening.
See also: The Prancercise Lady Copes With the Dark Side of Internet Fame
For those of you not in the loop when it comes to the hottest innovative workouts, Prancercise is defined as a "springy, rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse's gait, and ideally induced by elation." The original 2012 Prancercise video quickly went viral, to date having garnered more than 11 milion views on YouTube. It appears Ditka was at least one of those 11 million, and for that, we are thankful. If you are not one of these said 11 million people, scroll down and get that video in your face so we can move on together.
You back? I know! See?!
Ditka says in his video's challenge-pitch that he was trying to think of something big to get people's attention, so he turned to the Prancercise lady, because obviously.
"I always like to help as much as I can, and I wanted to think of a new way to raise awareness and money for this organization." Ditka says. "I wanted to do something big to get the attention and donations that these great players deserve, so I turned to the internet to find out whose getting the most eyeballs.
"After looking at various internet stars, I stumbled upon an unlikely inspiration. Can you say 'Prancercise'?!"
Yes! "Prancercise," coach! Holy crap, what the hell is happening right now? What a time to live.
The foundation's site drops the particulars of the Ditka-Prancercise Challenge on you, including the promise that the highest bidder will be featured in his or her very own Prancercise video. I didn't even know I wanted this until it was offered. Now, I am selling my car.
For $100,000, Coach Ditka will Prancercise® with Joanna Rohrback during the 2015 NFL Draft in Chicago. If Coach can raise more than $100k, he will challenge other NFL Greats & Celebrities to join him in Chicago. The highest bidder will be treated to a private dinner with Coach Ditka and Joanna Rohrback, and will be featured in an actual Prancercise® video.
According to the funding page, just over $1,000 has been raised thus far, but there are still 103 days to make Ditka Prancercising in zebra-print pants across a grassy field with a cigar in his mouth a reality. Do not be filled with regret come 104 days from now when Mike Ditka tells us $99,999 wasn't the dealio! Make a difference today.
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