Pro Bowl Comes to South Florida, Possibly Kindling Gay Affair
South Florida will host the NFL's Pro Bowl in 2010 and may also become home of the Gay Games. Somehow, inexplicably, these two stories haven't been linked by other media outlets. But it's clear to see that the Pro Bowl could stand as the championship game in a week of Gay Games activities, where the, I don't know, gayest football players get to go on to play in the Pro Bowl. While I'm dreaming here, I'll even add a sponsor to help this happen: The gayest players get to play in the Gay Games Pro Bowl brought to you by Bottoms & Tops.
What follows here is a quote I've totally made up from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in which he makes several "tight end" and "up the middle" comments that sound totally gay. "I refuse to make jokes that sound totally gay, including ones about tight ends or running up the middle," Goodell said at a press conference yesterday that I totally imagined. Oh, well. It seems football officials won't acknowledge just how gay the sport is, even in a fake quote.
After the jump, Riviera Beach comes out of the closet with a little problem the city faces.
Riviera Beach Enters Acceptance Phase of Recovery
The guy in Riviera Beach who sells me my daily supply of OxyContin warned yesterday that Rivera Beach has begun Phase One of Operation Safe Community, a four-month effort to crack down on drugs. This operation is the gay equivalent of the guy who gets married, has kids, gets a few grandchildren, retires to Boca, moves into a retirement community, and then, as that whopper of a heart attack begins to strike, wonders how he went his whole life without realizing he was completely queer. Good for you, Riviera Beach, for finally coming up with the courage to tell other cities that you totally have a drug problem. You should know that, at the least, the meth heads of Wilton Manors will support you.
West Palm Fires Employees for Looking at that Email You Just Forwarded
The City of West Palm Beach has also revealed a secret: 13 city employees have been using their computers for sexual content or religious slurs. The employees have been fired or resigned amid an investigation that's widespread in City Hall. The investigation also revealed something to me that I didn't know: Computers are used for something besides sexual content and religious slurs.
In this video below, a referee shows why all types of football deserve to be part of the Bottoms & Tops Gay Games Pro Bowl.
-- Eric Barton
