Burger King Debuts Bacon Sundae

America's love for bacon runs deep. From jam to mayo to vodka, we want pork, and we want it  now. Recognizing our weakness for bacon, superfluous calorie consumption, and premature heart attacks, Burger King has created a new bacon sundae that debuts today. At a mere 550 calories, this sundae -- soft-serve vanilla ice cream topped

with chocolate and caramel topped with crumbles of smoked bacon, is damned near a diet food by BK standards. Though bacon sundaes are hardly original, Burger King's sundae offers something that other bacon sundaes can't -- convenience and anonymity.

Think back to last year, when you went to Denny's to try its maple bacon sundae (Yeah, we saw you. No judgment.). No doubt you waited in line forever with the silver foxes and raven-haired goth kids before relenting, vowing to come back another day. Did you ever go back? Probably not; after all someone might see you.

Burger King's sundae gives you the convenience of rolling up to the

drive-through at all hours of the day to order your bacon sundae like a

junkie looking for a fix. After the "exchange," you are free to slink

away unnoticed to a secluded spot in the BK parking lot where you can inhale the

sweet and savory treat in the private. Fast-food junkies and bacon lovers, rejoice! For today, the salted-meat gods are looking down upon you and have judged you favorably.