Every once in a while the overgrown toddler that is Donald Trump throws a billionaire-sized temper tantrum because something didn't go his way or someone hurt his wittle feewings.
Like any self respecting megalomaniac, he unilaterally assumes that everyone in the universe except the offender is on his side.
In this case, the entire nation of Scotland and Trump are supposed to be offended. The perp? Distillers of Glenfiddich Scotch Whisky, William Grant & Sons.
Of course, it was the nation of Scotland that collectively did the thing that offended Trump, but when you're a billionaire, you don't let pesky little details like facts and reality get in your way.
Follow the jump for some facts and reality...
As related in the documentary, You've Been Trumped, the Donald was building one of his gratuitous tourist traps - in this case a golf course - in Scotland. In the documentary he is accused intimidating environmental critics and unhappy locals into silence. He also allegedly shut down a wind farm that was crowding his view, so he could build a golf course in a country that presumably has plenty already considering they invented the damn sport.
One man, the hero of You've Been Trumped, stood against the modern day rampage, a Scottish farmer by the name of Michael Forbes.
Recently, Michael Forbes was voted "Top Scot" in an annual contest that happens to be sponsored by Glenfiddich. It is important to note that this is quite literally a popularity contest that is voted on by THE PEOPLE OF SCOTLAND and not unilaterally awarded by Glenfiddich's parent company William Grant & Sons.
Remember this fact as you read on to learn that Trump has declared the awarding of the honor to Forbes as an embarrassment to the Scottish people.
Trump first declared that Glenfiddich Scotch is crap, that William Grant & Sons is jealous he didn't grant them the honor of distilling his far superior Trump Scotch, and that Glenfiddich would never be served again in any Trump property, anywhere in the world. So there!
Now, Trump is calling on people everywhere - who presumably adore and respect Trump - to boycott Glenfiddich Scotch...
We say, head over to Trump International Beach Resort in North Miami (because Trump International Hotel & Tower in Fort Lauderdale was a big ol' fail and you can't go there) and order some Glenfiddich. Get as many friends together as you can. Tell your friends and followers on Twitter and Facebook. Offer to buy a round for the bar of Glenfiddich!
And when the bartender says they don't carry it, look at him aghast and reply, "Ya fired!" before walking grandly out the front door.
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