When it comes to both dating and dining, I generally try to keep an open mind. But there are some tenets I stick to like paper on a slightly melted Blow Pop.
With regards to dating, I stay away from guys still married, separated, or recently divorced, and if a man makes a dry-heaving sound when raw food of any sort arrives at the table, I kick him to the curb.
Dining is just as intimate a matter, and most of the lessons I've learned in this department came from my daddy. The first thing he taught me was that just because you can't pronounce it doesn't mean it's not good eatin'. Also, never order a hamburger in a Chinese restaurant. And last, don't try ribs, collard greens, or sweet potato pie from any barbecue place that employs only white chefs.
Now I know I can get respectable ribs at any number of joints in Wellington and Boca -- Park Avenue and Mississippi Sweets come to mind -- but I need to eat where the brothers are. Only they can tap into their roots and bring forth true soul food.
Sensing my little 24-year-old cougar cub would enjoy some baby backs and sweet tea, I suggested Tom Jenkins' Bar-B-Q, my go-to. He protested at first, claiming he was overdressed and his whitey local barbecue chain in Boca, Smokey Bones, was top-notch. But I pulled out the claws and gave him a bad-kitty look until he relented.
Once inside my mecca, I could see he was still reluctant. I'm sure he was wondering why he put on a snappy 7 Diamonds
button-down to sit at a picnic table and, above all else, why a nice
Jewish girl like me would rather be here scarfing down a slab than
eating steak at Morton's. But once he got a taste of the sweet and
vinegary sauce shellacked on those tender red ribs, Tom's cool and
crispy coleslaw, and the simple yet magically sticky mac 'n' cheese, it
all became clear. Halfway through our Styrofoam-divided meals, I could
see that the touristy gay couple canoodling beside us no longer bothered
him. Motown music filled the air, great eats filled our bellies, and I
dare say he thought I was that much cooler of a chick for taking him
here. The only downside? My date used a knife and fork to eat his ribs.
Sure,
there were some downfalls -- we both had to unceremoniously pick pork
and greens out of our teeth, we both smelled like a smokehouse
afterward, and we had to wait so long for our order that I thought we
might pass out. Yet overall, Tom's was a great place to test my new
boyfriend-of-the-week's level of adventurousness and to devour some
damned fine 'cue. I know I will definitely be coming back to Tom's for
more Southern comfort. As to whether I'll be bringing Mr. Boca along...
well, that has yet to be determined. I'm not convinced a guy who
refuses to eat ribs with his hands is man enough for me.
Tom Jenkins' Bar-B-Q is located at 1236 S. Federal Hwy. in Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-522-5046, or click here.
Riki Altman eats everything that won't try and eat her first (with exceptions, of course) and dates younger men, older men, and older men who act like young men, along with locals, tourists, illegal aliens and just plain aliens. Love Bites is a compilation of what happens when her dining and dating ordeals collide. Sometimes, it just ain't pretty.
