"Most vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children. A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussels sprouts never do." -- P.J. O'Rourke
Bonus: Vocab word of the day, borborygmus, n. a rumbling noise caused by movement of gas through the intestines. A complaint common amongst restaurant critics. "He was woken early by borborygmus as his insides fermented and his intestines ballooned with gas beyond their capacity.'"
Ruth Dudley Edwards; Book Review / Straying Into A Dark, Ugly And Sick World; The Independent (London, UK); Sep 21, 1994.