We just knew that Festivus was Tony Bourdain's kind of holiday. At first we thought that Tony was becoming a modern-day Grinch with a heart that grows three sizes in one day, after viewing pictures of him assembling a Disney Princess castle for his adorable daughter. In his jammies.
But just when we resigned ourselves to thinking that, like Scrooge, our snarky Mr. Bourdain would start singing carols, we spotted this video posted on YouTube by The Big Gay Ice Cream Truck.
In the video, Tony is asked to air his grievances in accordance with the annual Festivus tradition. Tony lets off a rant on the Travel Channel, saying that his child, his baby, his Christmas special was neglected, abused, and disemboweled. He goes on to add that his network treated it like a "cat covers its own feces" and reminds us that his beloved Krampus Carol was left to die on the cutting-room floor (hey, Tony -- Clean Plate Charlie thought it was a delight).
Here's Tony's rant. There is a
Santa Claus Krampus, after all. And he eats pork.
And (in case you missed it): Here's Tony's Krampus Carol: