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Cook a Dragon Millipede

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Dragon Millipede.jpg According to a report issued today by the World Wildlife Fund, the Pink Dragon Millipede is one of 1000 new species discovered in the Mekong region of Southeast Asia in the last 10 years. Okay, so the thing has a cyanide-producing gland. But that doesn't mean your favorite TV chef can't use it as an ingredient. Everyone at Short Order agrees that new animal species discoveries should be quickly exploited and leveraged into culinary trends. Here are our top 5 epicurean uses for the Dragon Millipede.

5.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Start yours right with a Millitoast.
MILLIBREAD.jpg4. A fine fragrant soup is nothing without the aesthetic power of pink dragons floating on its surface.
 

MILLISOUP.jpg

3. Who needs pork? The finest bacon in the world comes from the pink dragon millipede. Rare and expensive, its satisfying crunch is second to none.
MILLISALAD.jpg2. Next time you and your rich friends are yammering about deforestation, world hunger, and corporate-controlled governments, have some cheese and crackers garnished with cyanide-infused milliflesh.
MILLICHEEZNCRCKRS.jpg1. Nothing's better than pizza, but a pizza is only as good as its toppings. Impress the neighbors by pulling your next pizza party out of a hat called nothing tastes better than newly discovered species.
MILLIPIZZA.jpgEnjoy.

-- Jacob Katel

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.