One of the great joys of my otherwise joyless life is to stride through

the front door of a certain local franchise of an Atlanta-based Mexican

fast food restaurant chain and be showered with warm greetings:

"Welcome to Moe's!" they ring out in near-unison.

And it's not

because I'm special. The employees of Moe's Southwest Grill, it is

clear, are trained to belt out this refrain to all who walk through

that door.

For a long time, however, I have been curious as to

what, if any, are the limits to this policy. Specifically, when a Moe's

employee is taking a restroom break, is he or she granted an exemption

from the requirement to bestow a cheerful greeting? Or is

there some kind of alert system within the Moe's restroom that informs

the employee when to shout out a welcome, so that he or she can do so

even behind a closed door, thereby proving how fiercely they wish to

welcome me?

Fortunately, today's lunch break finally brought an answer to this riddle. (Oh hell yes, you're making the jump for this!)

This afternoon I paid a visit to the Moe's in the Harbor Shops complex

off SE 17th Street in Fort Lauderdale. I received my usual chorus of

Welcomes to Moes! In the very next moment, I looked toward the

restroom. The door to the women's room opened and -- sure enough! -- a

Moe's employee emerged. I gave her an expectant glance that

communicated, in unsubtle fashion, "Where's my welcome?"

She did not greet me.

So

there you have it! No restroom alert system... yet. And it seems that

employees really are granted an exemption from the welcome rule while

in the restroom. Either that or the Moe's worker in question will be

hunted down by a corporate hitman and summarily fired, an example to

her colleagues of how very seriously Moe's takes their welcomes.

Next on my agenda: The Moe's

employees' reaction to my arriving just before day's end. Will they

yell out, "Moe's is closed!" in the very same dulcet tones? I very much

hope so.

(A link to this blog post will be e-mailed to the corporate media affairs staffers at Moe's. I look forward to their response.)