I must confess, in another life, I used to be a fitness-person bigot. They all seemed to be these Disney-cheery, spandex-wrapped people who lived on alien-looking, blue-green smoothies and who felt like a bunch of jiggly rocks when they, usually for no good reason, hugged me because "I looked like I needed it".
Here is a transcript of one of our recent conversations that took place when we cooked together.
Me: I like potato chips, tortellini Alfredo, fried donuts, and ice cream with bits of cake in it. My new strategy to maintain my figure will be to drink lots of espresso, inhale a lot of truck fumes on I-95 while I drive to fight hunger pangs, then eat nothing all day EXCEPT a giant plate of cheese fries. Whaddaya think?
Mike: If you really want to roll in self-loathing and regret, there are slew of things that I could think of that wouldn't clog your arteries or make you chug a pint of Pepto Bismol before bed. Instead, why not do what professional dancers, who need to keep their energy up and their weight on point between meals, do to manage hunger?
The best thing to do is to tell off your skanky friend in person. Before you do, however, if you really are hungry, eat a healthy salad with a good mixture of protein and leafy greens- not the blue cheese soup with a piece of radicchio on top that you like. Why? When you are angry, your body shoots out hormones and they send out signals to your cells that demand resolution to your conflict. Satisfying that emotion, which is created by that internal wiring with high-stimulus foods like sugar and fat, tells your body's cells that instead of handling the situation, you really need junk food. That means you will crave more with time to less effect. Filling your body with what it actually needs will make you feel calmer, more focused, and less prone to eat away your sorrows in the future.
A garnish of mango slices
Toss, chow, harangue loser friend.
The best way to stave off midnight cravings is to eat healthy balanced meals. Even if this seems impossible, try to at minimum have healthy stuff- fruits and veggies- instead of junk, especially if you know you won't be eating healthily that week. Make a fruit salad before you go to bed or a healthy veggie snack and put it in the fridge if you know that you didn't eat right during the day as well and are bound to get up and start foraging.
I guarantee you'll never eat late night again. Although, you may never eat again either.
To keep feeling and looking good you have to respect your body- even if you can get away with eating crap all the time and not gaining weight. You may still be a size 2, but you won't feel good, or be healthy. That means you have to protecting your body- and your brain- from whatever is toxic, while taking it out to play every once and a while with fun foods that aren't too far off the charts in terms of body-wasting additives and fats. You can indulge on occasion but monitor your carb and fat intake and then be consistent. Schedule a day every once in a while to live out your food fantasies and then try to get back on the straight and narrow.
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