Food News

Five Customers Whom Restaurant Owners Should Ban

Last week, a Clearwater Skyline Chili made headlines when the owner tapped into the post-Casey Anthony verdict fury by banning Pinellas County jurors from his establishment. This week, the Huffington Post reported on McDain's Restaurant in Monroeville, Pennsylvania,  for banning children younger than 6 from the dining room. If banning particular customers is the new norm, here's a suggestion on five obnoxious "types" that South Florida restaurateurs should consider shutting out:      

5. Anyone wearing Axe body spray -- It's hard to enjoy an aromatic wine -- or, for that matter, plain ol' oxygen -- if the air is filled with eau de Jersey Shore.  

4. People who loudly discuss health conditions or medical procedures that involve exploratory scopes, oozing, and/or swelling -- Not the people who have medical conditions, mind you -- that would be incredibly douchey and, in some cases, illegal -- just the ones who feel the need to share the details of said conditions over a plate of ceviche.

3. Movie consumers who are responsible for stinkers like The Zookeeper hitting the cineplex -- Why should the rest of us have to share dinner space with them?

2. Adam Richman -- Hosting this Man v. Food star implies a certain complicity in the masochism and physical punishment inherent to that stomach-expanding ode to poor health choices.   

1. Yelpers who take their role as a "critic" far too seriously -- They snap photos of every dish in a variety of angles. They whine in person -- and online -- about everything, from the hostess' tone of voice to the color scheme in the bathroom to the quality of the complimentary mint. They eviscerate your favorite local family-owned joint for some perceived slight for which no one could have any control. Yelp reviewers who can't quell the urge to critique every... little... thing are the wet blanket on everyone's dinner party.   

Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.
KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Tricia Woolfenden