Five Food Items to Buy for Your Hurricane Party

Just when we started to take our eyes off Hurricane Matthew, he zigged and we were told he would zag, thus placing South Florida right back into the dreaded 'cone of caution'; completely uncool, but nonetheless, a reality. Keeping an eye on the tropics and dealing with what it throws in our general direction is just a part of living on the southern tip of Florida, so we deal.

Hurricanes are obviously serious business, and so we need to make sure we are prepared for the worst, while we hope for the best. That means gathering supplies and hoarding them like a mouse in the wall. Beyond the usual things like flashlights, batteries, water, and gas for your car and grill, you're going to need food. 

You're especially going to need food if you're planning a hurricane party. Not like, a disrespectful LOL, nothing is going to happen to us, hurricane party, but a gathering of people to drink and eat while you wait out the storm, kind of party. 

Here are the top five foods you need to run out and buy right now so your hurricane party is not only the safest place to ride out the storm, but also the most fun. 

5. Peanut Butter and Jelly 

Technically two foods here, but because we are a big fan of being prepared, we are lumping them into the same category. Peanut Butter and Jelly is admittedly not the best party food, but a hurricane party isn't just any party; it's a survival party. People could theoretically be stuck together for days, months, or even years!

You're going to need food that lasts a long time, but that's also fun. Who the hell wants to eat some nasty-ass canned tuna and play cards? That's not a party, that's literally what they do in prison! I've heard! I think! I saw on TV once. You can spread the PB&J over some crackers, or set out a PB&J bar next to the actual bar. You could have your hurricane party bartender actually making PB&J's. This one will keep things light while you wait for the rain to stop. 
4. Salsa Con Queso 

This one is just smart. Have you ever been to a Super Bowl party where this stuff was left out for eight hours? It stands the test of time. It could literally be left outside in a hurricane and it might not change one bit. This is ideal if what you are looking for is a food that might need to stick around for a few days without refrigeration. 

Salsa con queso can be used for quite a few things, including the topping for your cheeseburgers. Ever try to eat cheese that's been sitting around for days? Hell no. You might give yourself food poisoning during a storm, and the hospitals will probably make you a low priority patient because they will have actual non-idiots to deal with. You ate bad cheese. Don't take a chance, go buy 17 bottles of salsa con queso right now. Drink it in case of an emergency, it's delicious. 
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi