Five Foods (Besides Cookies) That Will Keep Santa Fat

​"Santa: I've grown sick of cookies"

We had another chat with Mr. Claus this week (courtesy of and found out that he's tired of eating cookies. Frankly we aren't surprised since he does eat 1,140,000 million cookies in the wee hours of Christmas morning. And that's just in the United States. 

So we wanted to find out what he'd rather have us leave on the mantle. Unfortunately Mrs. Claus has him closed-lipped about what he likes, presumably because she wants him to keep the full figure.

Luckily for her, we've got a list of fast-food options that'll keep him plump and please his belly at the same time. Check after the jump for those options as well as the calories he'd consume with each. 
While reading the gargantuan amount of calories in each, please keep in mind that thanks to our sister paper, OCWeekly, we know that two Chips Ahoy cookies and one eight-ounce glass of 2 percent milk nets 130 calories and 50 grams of fat.

1. McDonald's McCafe Frappe
Calories in one small Caramel Frappe: 450 calories with 180 calories from fat. 
Calories in 1,140,000 small Caramel Frappes: 513,000,000 with 205,200,000 calories from fat.

Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.

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