On February 18, Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jack Seiler signed an ordinance allowing restaurants and bars to serve alcohol as early at 7 a.m. on Sundays (the law does not apply to liquor or grocery stores). Business owners objected to the outdated law prohibiting alcohol sales prior to noon, which was originally intended to preserve the Sabbath as a day of worship.
The new ordinance raises the curious question: Will loyal churchgoers abandon Sunday service in exchange for hitting up the ol' watering hole? If you plan to skip church to wet your whistle, Charlie has a few suggestions where to plant your ass at the buttcrack of dawn next Sunday.
Lips, 1421 E. Oakland Park Blvd. Call 954-567-0987.
If you are going to skip Sunday Mass to drink, you might as well go balls deep at "Lips' Gospel Brunch" drag show beginning at 11 a.m. Champagne, bloody marys, and mimosas are included with the cost of brunch ($16.50, plus $5 show fee), but why not order a Mrs. Doubtfire's Mojito or a Screaming Orgasm shot? The brunch menu features traditional breakfast options such as omelets, eggs Benedict, and lunch choices such as burgers, salads, and sandwiches.
H2O Café, 101 S. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd., Ste. 202. Call 954-414-1024.
Beginning at 8 a.m., enjoy a mango mojito ($11) and/or a cocktail called the Undercurrent (a peach-flavored martini, $10)
while watching athletic nonboozer types jog down the beach at this oceanfront eatery. Since you're not exercising or praising the Almighty, stuff your face with Belgium waffles topped with Chantilly cream and powdered sugar to distract yourself from any unexpected pangs of guilt.
Himmarshee Bar & Grille, 210 SW Second St. Call 954-524-1818.
The Cucumber Watermelon Martini is available before noon? That's right, order Himmarshee's famous martini ($12) along with a delicious Crab Cake Benedict ($17) for Sunday brunch beginning at 11:30 a.m. A classic bloody mary or mimosa costs $7.
Floridian, 1410 E. Las Olas Blvd. Call 954-463-4041.
Many of us have thought about ordering the infamous $300 "Fat Cat" -- breakfast for two plus a bottle of Dom Perignon -- at the 74-year-old diner. But let's face it: The $40 "Not So Fat Cat" version is a much less anxiety-producing option. Conveniently located beside several churches, the Floridian doesn't require moving your car after skipping service to catch your before-noon libation.
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Downtowner, 10 S. New River Drive E. Call 954-525-7400.
Last but not least is the $12.99 all-you-can-eat brunch buffet (11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.) complete with meat-carving and omelet stations at the nostalgic waterfront eatery next door to the Broward County Jail. Imbibe like a thief with shockingly cheap cocktails (mimosas, bloody marys, and screwdrivers are only $3!), then pray for forgiveness.