February 2, 2011 | 8:00am
Hey, lovebirds! Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and it's time for you to buy up some cards, purchase some flowers, and get all romantic in honor of the Hallmark Holiday.
That's right, since you aren't romantic any other day of the year, this is the time to shower your honey with some lovin', and we're not just talking the commercial kind.
If you've been dating for longer than
400 years three months, your below-the-belt life might be a little dry. Never fear, Clean Plate Charlie is here!
We've done the dirty (research) for you and come up with some of the best edible love-makin' items for you. Now you and your significant other can do the market research for us.
After the jump, check out the five best items you can purchase at your local sex shop.
5. Chocolate gown
We know fabric to the floor isn't too sexy (unless you're putting it there). But take your lady out in one of these edible evening gowns from France and you can take her back home for dessert after.
It's the girls that are so often saddled with the task of wearing edible clothing. Now it's the man's turn! Just place this banana pasty on his banana and um... eat it to get to the prize.
This one is more for the long-distance lovers. Even if your girlfriend can't see you to celebrate the midweek holiday, you can still touch these breast substitutes -- albeit poor ones.
Van Gogh made the ultimate sacrfice for his lover -- he cut off his ear. Granted, his brain had partially been destroyed by syphilis. The point is, bring out your inner artist and paint her canvas, baby. Don't worry about drips; your tongue can clean it up later.
No, this isn't the kind of ring you'd put on his finger.
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