Sandra Lee, host of Food Network's Semi-Homemade Cooking, proves that you neither have to be a chef nor interesting to have a cooking show on television.
Though Anthony Bourdain has called her the "frightening hell spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker" (and we tend to listen to EVERYTHING Tony Bourdain says), we wondered if Sandra Lee was really all that bad?
In an effort to understand Sandra Lee, we watched a bunch of her videos. We're seeking therapy. This woman doesn't cook - she opens cans of the most sodium-laden gunk and mixes them together into a witches stew of unholy badness, then turns frozen crap into something you wouldn't dream of eating even if you were stranded on a deserted island.
We figured you would want evidence, so here's Sandra's most heinous cookery fails ever:
5. French Pork Chops - We don't really know what Sandra Lee has against pork, but she apparently has some vendetta. How else do you explain slopping canned beans, canned tomatoes and canned cream of potato soup on these poor piggies?
4. Garlic Fries - Why anyone over the age of four would need directions on how to add garlic and oil to frozen french fries to make garlic fries is beyond us. Horrifying!
3. Fountain Dogs - With child obesity a real problem in the U.S., it may seem a little irresponsible to wrap bacon around a nitrate-laden hot dog for your kids, but you're not watching a cooking show...you're watching the devil in a pink cardigan.
2. No-Bake Love Cake - If you know anyone who's getting married, please tell them they don't have to special order a delicious cake for the biggest day of their lives. All they have to do is get three cakes from Publix, stack them together and decorate with cookies. Now we just need to make some centerpieces from old Budweiser cans and we're in business!
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1. Kwanzaa Cake - Even the thought of Sandra Lee making a Kwanzaa cake should make your skin crawl. Thing of it is...the actual video is much worse than you thought.