4
| Rants |

Getting Wet at Le Tub

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

I don't think I'll ever forget the expression on my date's face when, in response to his request for a glass of water, our rough-around-the-edges waitress at Le Tub in Hollywood simply pointed to a big Igloo plastic cooler with a stack of flimsy plastic cups and said, "Get it yourself."

Surely this was a far cry from the service he was used to receiving back home in Delray ("Would you like still or sparkling, sir?"), so kudos to him for just laughing off the shock of what he was hoping was just a joke.

At that point, I began wondering what kind of a kook he thought I was for suggesting this place for a first date. After all, the resto was built entirely of crap

found on Hollywood Beach, so it's not exactly what one would call

romantic. The menus look like they were literally Xerox-ed about a

decade ago too, and the bathrooms... well, let's just not go there. But

heck, he couldn't seem to come up with anything better, and I wasn't in

the mood to get all gussied up for a weekday lunch rendezvous. I had

been wearing a tank top, jeans, and flip-flops all day, and there was

no way I was yankin' out a sundress for some guy who, frankly, seemed

a little uppity the first time we met. A Le Tub test ought to ferret

out his chill side, I theorized, if he had one.

In my

defense, I warned him that -- though chock-full of Florida charm -- Le Tub

isn't the place to go for anyone famished, prone to splinters, or

offended easily. It's not quite like a visit to Dick's Last Resort,

wherein the servers deliberately berate diners and make them wear

makeshift paper hats with Sharpie-d expressions such as "I spread like

butter!" and "I cried during 'Brokeback Mountain.'" But chances are,

the staff won't be spirited off to work for the Breakers anytime soon

either.

After returning with filled water cups, my date

commented that the view at Le Tub was great, then said he liked that

each table seemed private, and added that he could see coming back again to

spend a Sunday nursing some Red Stripes with buddies. He also commented

he was "blown away" by not only the sheer size of his hamburger but

also by the fact that it tasted like his Dad's barbecued version.

If

it's true that the way to a man's heart is through this stomach, I

think he would've considered asking his cardiologist to implant me in

there forever, especially after he scarfed down an entire basket of

thick-cut French fries and had a few bites of my chili.

There

was only one part of the date that was less-than-amusing: I forgot to

warn him that Le Tub doesn't take credit, so I had to fork out the dough.

That's OK, I decided. Next time, the meal is on him, and I'm sure it

won't be at some joint that allows flip-flops. Oooh -- now who's the

uppity one?

Le Tub is located at 1100 N. Ocean Dr. in Hollywood. Call 954-921-9425, or click here.


Freelance writer Riki Altman eats everything that won't try to eat her first (with exceptions, of course) and dates younger men, older men, and older men who act like young men, along with locals, tourists, illegal aliens, and just plain aliens. Love Bites is a compilation of what happens when her dining and dating ordeals collide. Sometimes, it just ain't pretty.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.