Halloween's all about scary creatures -- vampires, werewolves, zombies, and Sandra Lee. While others may choose undead creatures, ghosts, and goblins as their favorite fright -- we're sticking with the soul-sucking Lee to bring us to our knees.
Don't believe us? We've complied five of Lee's most gruesome Halloween clips. Bring the booze (you're going to need it) and enter the frightful alternate universe of Sandra Lee.
5. Sandra Lee as Liza with a Z... and Madonna... and Marilyn Monroe. The only costume Lee doesn't wear is the one she should -- mental patient in a straitjacket.
Using only a microwave, food coloring, and the souls of millions of unborn kittens, Sandra Lee shows you how to make fun pumpkin-faced strawberry treats.
3. Aunt Sandy dresses like a gypsy and gets you drunk on supersweet orange crap... garnished with licorice and topped with black vodka. Actually, we wish we had a nutty, drunk, hot aunt at holiday gatherings.
2. Sandra Lee as Cher gives us the most valuable kitchen tip ever -- don't let your wig catch fire.
1. Sandra Lee dresses as Mother Nature and dances with a skeleton in this clip, clearly demonstrating a political message about global warming... Actually she was probably just nipping at the cooking sherry (and vodka) again.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.