If Mitt Romney wins the election tomorrow, he'll have something to celebrate with. Alcohol-free whiskey.
Now, whiskey is not a wimpy drink - quite the contrary. This particular form of spirit is typically equated with cowboys, grizzled old men and drinkers who know what they're doing. It takes balls (at least figuratively) to suck down a whiskey, neat.
But what about non-drinkers? How are they supposed to prove their masculinity or play cowboys and Indians? Or celebrate their elections? Or drown their sorrows that they lost it?
A new company has it covered, as they've recently released "the world's first non-alcoholic, whisky-flavored drink." ArKay, as it's known, is calorie free, carb free and alcohol free.
They bill themselves as the perfect solution for designated drivers, dieters and people engaged in business deals. All of which makes sense. But we can't help but wonder how Diet Coke or club soda wouldn't be a more palate-pleasing solution in all of the above scenarios. While we haven't actually tasted ArKay yet, whiskey isn't generally known as a tasty treat for those who aren't used into drinking hard liquor.
But, this benign concoction would definitely be useful as a psychological experiment. Serve ArKay up to bar patrons, tell them it's the good stuff, and watch the fun begin, courtesy of the placebo effect.
It could also be utilized for keeping kids on the wagon until they're of age. Once they get the gist of what whiskey actually tastes like (with no harm done) - they'll likely be turned off the real deal forever.
We do have to wonder, who the hell wants to drink whiskey without the intoxicating effects?
Was there enough public demand for a company to actually put out such a product? According to ArKay, the drink is "getting a tremendous response from customers and distributors around the world."
ArKay will have the Mormon market covered, if nothing else.
Follow @ CleanPlateBPB