If Pizza Is a Vegetable, So Is This Burger

Every few years, our elected officials pretend to care about nutrition. This week, Congress is debating whether to keep counting the tomato paste on pizza as a serving of vegetables in school lunches. Makes you nostalgic for the days of mystery meat and rubbery nuggets, doesn't it?

For all the kiddies out there cheering, here are some more ways to get your greens without actually eating anything green.

5. Try a burger
That lonely lettuce leaf and wrinkled tomato slice are nutricious and delicious!

4. Dip your chips in salsa
You'll discover plenty of tomato-and-onion goodness. Probably some herbs too. Does cilantro have a spot on the food pyramid?

3. Put relish on your hot dog
It's pickled cucumbers, isn't it?

2. Get a side of fries
Seriously, the National Potato Council would be thrilled to inform you about the health benefits of starch.

1. Add an extra dollop of ketchup
Make Ronald Reagan proud.

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