I'm Eating What?! Nestle's Yorkie Bar | Clean Plate Charlie | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida

Ethical Eating

I'm Eating What?! Nestle's Yorkie Bar

​This blog is going to be short for one reason and one reason only: Nestle's Yorkie bar is all talk and no action.

The bright-blue, shiny label on this British treat not only announces the product is "NOT for girls!" but also goes so far as to show a little lady with a skirt and handbag slammed down by that red symbol made so popular by the Ghostbusters franchise. It was a brazen threat to us gals, and, therefore, we had to challenge it. Besides, why would they name a manly candy bar after a girlie dog breed?

Without even looking at the ingredients, we ripped open the wrapper and were faced with a solid chocolate bar segmented into sixths. Taking the bar to our chompers, we bit down to find... chocolate. Just chocolate. No crunchies, no raisins, no gooey fruity filling, no peanut butter, no minty flavoring, no ground up espresso beans. Just chocolate. 

We can only deduce that perhaps this bar is "NOT for girls!" because it bores the hell out of us. We want substance. We want texture. We want an orgasm in chocolate form. This, ladies, is none of the aforementioned. So as to who should eat this, the answer is simple: heterosexual foreign men. Maybe they'll get the "humor" of this advertising ploy and won't mind the lackluster chocolate.

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Riki Altman

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