"Tellric the Invoker here. Just the other day, my party and I were caught deep in the bowels of the Underdark facing a mob of rabid duergar, when an uncontrollable thirst struck me like a +3 Staff of Command. So, I did what any wise adventurer would do: I reached into my Bottomless Knapsack of Nimm and produced a crystalline bottle ofJones Spellcasting Soda
. Lest you dismiss my endorsement like a familiar with a bladder problem, allow me to elaborate: Jones Spellcasting Soda is the only soda specifically designed with the D20 adventurer in mind. The fizzy brews come in six flavors such as Dwarven Draught, Eldritch Blast, and, my personal favorite, Potion of Healing. Have you ever tasted an actual potion of healing? It's like licking the floor of an umber hulk's den! Yuck!
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"Refined corn syrup sodas will leave your constitution dwindling through a long play session. Not so with Jones. Each of their specially packaged imbibes are made with pure cane sugar and natural flavors. Not to mention Jones is a sustainable company, which means I can feel safe knowing the monsters of the Forgotten Realms will always be around for me to slay. With Jones Spellcasting Soda in hand, I'm ready to take on anything the
DM throws at me, from mind-flaying illithid to marauding ogres.
"So next time you're deep in some gnoll-infested dungeon and out of action points, conjure up some Jones Spellcasting Soda. It'll help you get your healing surge on!"
Tellric the Invoker is not an employee of Jones Soda, he's just a fan of shameless marketing. Order your Jones Spellcasting Soda ($10.99 six-pack; $18.99 12-pack) here.