If you haven't heard all the ruckus about the legalization of marijuana in Colorado last week, you've either been stuck under a rock, working too much, or coming down from the worst New Years hangover ever.
Either way, a joint should help with those issues.
While weed still isn't legal in Florida, not even for medicinal purposes, pot activists say they are well on the way to getting one millions signatures on their petitions to qualify for the fall ballot as of next week -- they have until February 1 to submit more than 683,000 valid signatures of registered voters.
With all the commotion on tokin' going on lately, we figured it was time to come up with a list of the best stoner foods in South Florida.
While we don't know whether the developers of these magnificent munchies were under the influence of cannabis when they devised these dishes, we do know the weird albeit mind-blowing combinations are the perfect antidote to even the worse case of stoner starvation.
Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor and Restaurant's the Kitchen Sink
If there is anything you need to know about a case of the munchies is that it requires an enormous amount of food to satiate the cravings. While just about any heaping scoop of ice cream from this Dania Beach shop is sure to satisfy your stoned hunger pangs, its the notorious kitchen sink that is a match made in pothead heaven -- that's because it combines just about everything on the menu. With mounds of homemade ice cream, chocolate syrup, marshmallow fluff, whipped cream, and just about every other topping known to man, it would take a normal person days to scoff it down -- it'll probably take your high self about 20 minutes.
Kapow! Noodle Bar's Bacon & Jalapeno Rangoon
First word: bacon. We all know bacon makes everything better, but it's also freaking amazing when you're stoned -- well, we heard that from a friend. While we wouldn't necessarily think bacon in a dish indicates that the chef may have been hitting the bong when he came up with that dish, the combo of American bacon with Mexican jalapeno, and Argentine chimichurri wrapped in an Asian rangoon sounds like a brainstorm from the smokey scenes in That '70's Show.
We Our friends only wish we were there to partake -- fortunately, it's available after a Sunday session of wake-and-bake.
Funky Buddha's Peanut Butter Jelly Beer
While some can't handle the whole smoking and drinking combo, this flavorful brew takes care of multiple by-products of being blasted: cotton mouth and weird mixtures of ingredients. It's kind of like that time you had a craving for ketchup and chips, and you decided to dip your Lay's in Heinz -- but it's actually good when you're sober.
d.b.a./ Cafe's the Fat Elvis
Sometimes it's difficult to figure out whether you want breakfast or dessert. The baked folks here have made sure there's no reason to get your brain in any more of a tizzy than its current state. It's called the Fat Elvis, a sweet and savory concoction of banana mousse, whipped peanut butter cream, graham cracker crumble, and chocolate covered bacon dusted with cayenne pepper.
El Jefe Luchador's El Colonel
Do you remember that one time you got high and you really wanted tacos, but you only had tortillas and Publix fried chicken? The combination of the crispy chicken and the sweet corn tortillas were eye-opening--until you passed out and forgot about it. Luckily, these guys took notes. The El Colonel taco combines southern "OG" recipe fried chicken -- way better than Publix, anyway -- pickled onion, salsa fresca, and American cheese. Who knew the American South and Mexico were such natural companions?
Follow Sara Ventiera on Twitter, @saraventiera.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to New Times Broward-Palm Beach's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling South Florida's stories with no paywalls.