Food Festivals

New Times' Pairings: The Top Five Wine-Snob Quotes From Our Readers

Recently we were given a pair of VIP tickets to Pairings, the annual celebration of South Florida food and fine wine at the Broward County Convention Center on Thursday, September 26, from 7 to 10 p.m. We tried to figure out a fun way to get readers' participation -- so we asked you to channel your inner wine snob.

Little did we know there were so very many oenophiles out there!

Reading these descriptions of mouthfeel and correct ways to pronounce Mere-LOW made us literally snort Chardonnay out of our noses!

In case you didn't read them -- here are our top five wine-snob quotes that you, dear reader, made up. And congrats to m.mariano65 for winning the VIP tickets to Pairings. More giveaways soon!

5. jengen06: "I'm not drinking the Merlot!"

4. granfieldc11: "The oaked Chardonnay reminds the tongue of subtle hints of cat piss and grass while the 2007 Napa Valley Cabernet disturbs the palate with whispers of smoked Gouda cheese and leprechaun breath. And by the way - it's pronounced "Mere-LOW" not "Mer-Lot!"

3. Thumby: "I get a mouthful of wet slate and bacon fat on the finish."

2.fgrande2: "I only drink bio-organic, sustainable wines that were harvested during the full moon by orphans using recyclable materials that was then hand poured into eco-friendly bottles and blessed by Captain Planet. You can REALLY taste the difference."

1. m.mariano65 wins for this most excellent snobbery about the most beloved wine from the 1970s:

"Yo... did you check that Boonesfarm vintage Y2K? That was dope! It was big and bright with the complexity of Kool Aid! It was jammy like a PBJ without those earthy tannins! You hear what I'm saying?"

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss