Office Food Thieves Beware the Anti-Theft Lunch Bag

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Long-time readers of Short Order may remember that the New Times offices weren't always a safe and happy place. There was a time long ago when terror stalked our cubicles -- when unsuspecting men and women fell pray to evil. I'm talking, of course, about the Shrimp Bandit: a fishy thief who, when no eyes were looking, crept into our break room and lifted our lunches from the refrigerator in order to sate his own craven appetite. We never did catch the Shrimp Bandit, as you can see in this reconnaissance video capturing him in action. Now he lays dormant. But some say he will return.

If he does, well, we'll be ready. Office food theft is a big concern for a lot of people it seems, so intelligent minds have pooled their resources and come up with this deterrent: anti-theft lunch bags. These nifty lunch bags instantly turn any sandwich, snack, or treat into a moldy-looking mess. Just imagine an office food thief, schlepping his hunched-back over to the fridge for his latest meal, and finding only a ham-and-cheese sandwich that's carrying the bubonic plague. He'll think twice before eating that bad boy. Order some of these bags, available in packs of 25 here, and you'll never have to worry for your lunch again.     

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.