^
Keep New Times Free
4

Paula Deen Real Job Offers: Porn, Dancing With the Stars?

Paula Deen, the homey Southern cook with the sparkling blue eyes who made everyone salivate with her over-the top recipes, has taken quite a tumble in the court of public opinion.

Since a legal deposition was made public in June, Deen's empire has crumbled with major sponsors like Food Network, Walmart, and Target severing ties with the queen of "butterly love."

That, of course, has led various media pundits to muse over whether Deen's career can come back from this blow -- or if her career is, in fact, dead. What they're forgetting is the fact that Deen has that "it" factor: something indefinable that resonates with her fan base, which includes more than half a million people on the We Support Paula Deen Facebook page.

With that people power, we think Deen can forge ahead, though maybe following a slightly different career path. After all, Grandma Moses didn't start painting until she was in her 70's. Here are some offers rumored to be on the table. Paula, if you need an agent -- call us!

Read Also: Paula Deen: After Today Show, Caesars Cancels Contract

3. Porn Star

TMZ recently reported that PureMature.com offered Deen a job. The online tabloid reported that the site that features graphic cougar porn called Deen a MILF and stated, "Full figured or thin, arthritic or diabetic -- you embody our perfect spokesperson." How's that for flattery? Sound crazy? Let us remind you that back in October 2011, Paula was named Hottest Female Television Chef by Maxim. And they know a thing or two about sexy women.

2. Dancing With The Stars

Cloris Leachman's done it. Kirstie Alley's done it. Bristol Palin did it in a gorilla suit, for pity's sake. We're talking about Dancing With The Stars. There's a rumor circulating that the ABC show is courting Deen. In 2010, she turned it down, saying that "fat girls don't look good sweating." But now, Deen's lost weight and needs a game changer in her career. After a few foxtrots in a sequined gown, the world might just fall in love all over again.

1. Celebrity Apprentice

Here's a quiz: Who's more politically incorrect than Paula Deen? That would be the Donald himself. But Donald Trump is also crazy like a fox and -- like a fox can smell fresh chickens -- the Donald can smell ratings... and money. VH1 is reporting that Trump is offering Deen a spot on Celebrity Apprentice, stating, "Celebrity Apprentice has proven to be a great format for reinventing and re-establishing careers i.e.: Brett Michaels, Arsenio Hall, Trace Atkins, Joan Rivers, and many others. Paula Deen's reputation has taken a big hit and what better way to make a comeback than by raising money for charity?" And come on -- wouldn't it be pure ratings gold to put Deen in a room with some past participants like Joan Rivers, Arsenio Hall, Gary Busey, and Dennis Rodman -- just to see what happens?

Follow Laine Doss on Twitter @LaineDoss and Facebook.



I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.