Rants

People Who Don't Like Pizza Are People Too

At some point in our country's history, it became socially frowned upon not to like pizza. Cheese pizza is the new apple pie. If someone doesn't like spinach or some other fibrous vegetable, people understand. No one questions children probing it on their plates. But if you don't like pizza, you're met with suspicious glares as if you suddenly announced to your friends and family that you're actually a Russian spy.

This is not something I tell a lot of people because of the aforementioned looks. Also, as a food blogger, I have a street cred I need to keep up. But I'm an enigma: I was born in America, socialized through the public school system, and yet I still do not like pizza.

I am not a freak. The taste buds want what the taste buds want.

See also: Confessions of a Food Blogger: The Word "Foodie" Makes Me Cry

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Jess Swanson is a staff writer at New Times. Born and raised in Miami, she graduated from the University of Miami’s School of Communication and wrote briefly for the student newspaper until realizing her true calling: pissing off fraternity brothers by reporting about their parties on her crime blog. Especially gifted in jumping rope and solving Rubik’s cubes, she also holds the title for longest stint as an unpaid intern in New Times history. She left the Magic City for New York to earn her master’s degree from Columbia University School of Journalism, where she spent a year profiling circumcised men who were trying to regrow their foreskins for a story that ultimately won the John Horgan Award for Critical Science Journalism. Terrified by pizza rats and arctic temperatures, she quickly returned to her natural habitat.
Contact: Jess Swanson