PETA Wants You To Have Hot Vegan Sex (Like Animals Do) | Clean Plate Charlie | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida


PETA Wants You To Have Hot Vegan Sex (Like Animals Do)

Ahh...PETA. No matter what you think of them, they always find a way to drive their point home -- whether it's to not wear fur, stop factory farming, spay your pet, or go vegan.

This time, PETA's enlisted the help of British ad agency, Fallon U.K. to show us that "vegans have a bigger sexual appetite". And, how do they do this? By editing together all kinds of herbivores getting it on -- to the tune of "Teddy Bear's Picnic".

Look, there's no doubt in our minds that the terms "stallion", "f**king like rabbits", and "porking" come from....somewhere. We're just not sure that we want to watch most of the animal kingdom get it on. Especially the rhinos. Which is probably why rhinos have extremely poor eyesight and there's virtually no market for rhino porn.

Then again, there's no denying that these beasts look like they're having a great time. And, they are all vegan. So maybe PETA's on to something, after all.

If you think that your sex life needs some improvement (and you're willing to ditch meat before trying Viagra) here are some handy tips, courtesy of PETA to start you out. It looks like it's working for these guys:

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss

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