Don't have a cow, Broward. Seriously. There's no need, because there's a reservoir of fresh milk for sale right in your backyard.
Just search "breast milk" on Craigslist and pages of lactation pumping devices pop up. But discretely woven between these listings is actual human breast milk for sale by local new moms with lactation to spare.
And in case you were wondering, the going rate for an ounce of this human milk in South Florida is $1 to $2. That might not seem like a lot, but that's actually $128 to $254 a gallon. While the going rate for a gallon of plain Jane regular ol' cow milk is about $4, it doesn't get any more local than this. And it'll make new moms think twice before they dump their leftover fluids; it's liquid gold.
Every mom has a different experience with breastfeeding. Some can't produce enough, and others produce too much. For moms with extra milk, hoarding their leftovers in the freezer and selling it online can be a quick and easy way to make a few dollars while helping out a mom in need.
(Then there are those new age-y type adults who would drink human breast milk for its immunity-boosting properties, but let's not go there.)
Kseniya Comon recently gave birth to her second child and has been producing extra milk. After running out of room in her freezer, she looked to sell or donate her milk but figured Craigslist would be easier. This is her ad:
But Comon has been unsuccessful selling her "fresh creamy milk" and has only been able to give her milk to one other mother who wasn't producing enough to feed her own baby. She's even offered to receive a health report and donate to families where the infant is suffering from an illness.
Lactating moms beware, though; Comon complains that she received plenty of scams on Craigslist. She's received 15 just this month.
"Unfortunately it's not working out," Comon says. "I'm getting a lot of scams, and people are contacting me saying they have breast cancer but the cashier checks they send me are for $1,800, and I work in a bank; I know they're not real."
One mother in Coral Springs who we were not able to contact for comment is selling a whopping 600 ounces of her frozen milk. The breast milk was pumped from December of last year to this past August.
She touts that she doesn't "drink, do drugs, or smoke" and even took "Women's 1-A-Day Prenatal Vitamins throughout pregnancy and entire time breastfeeding." Her thorough record-keeping of date pumped and volume allow her to sell her nourishing commodities for almost $1,200 in total -- if she manages to sell it all.