We first met Ted Allen on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Now, Allen's the host of Food Network's Chopped, where chefs make dinners from a basket that usually includes clams, blood orange, and cotton candy.
Allen's got a new book out. Kinda. Pretentious Foodie Bullshit includes tons of recipes that require sourcing rare yet locally grown produce like chocolate mint and albino carambola, along with procuring fresh lionfish or geoduck or baby goat that was breast-fed by a kangaroo.
Allen went on everyone's favorite morning show, Today Now, to demonstrate a dish that only yuppie scum would like. The dish, consisting of some bullshit expensive fish rolled in cob nuts, sets Ted into a tailspin of epic proportions.
Watch Ted's meltdown here (by the way, as much as we want this cookbook, both it and Today Now are figments of The Onion's imagination... in overdrive):
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