Food News

Ted Allen's Pretentious Foodie Bulls**t Recipe (Video)

We first met Ted Allen on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Now, Allen's the host of Food Network's Chopped, where chefs make dinners from a basket that usually includes clams, blood orange, and cotton candy.

Allen's got a new book out. Kinda. Pretentious Foodie Bullshit includes tons of recipes that require sourcing rare yet locally grown produce like chocolate mint and albino carambola, along with procuring fresh lionfish or geoduck or baby goat that was breast-fed by a kangaroo.

Allen went on everyone's favorite morning show, Today Now, to demonstrate a dish that only yuppie scum would like. The dish, consisting of some bullshit expensive fish rolled in cob nuts, sets Ted into a tailspin of epic proportions.

Watch Ted's meltdown here (by the way, as much as we want this cookbook, both it and Today Now are figments of The Onion's imagination... in overdrive):

Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss