This story is so abnormal, you'd think it was coming out of Florida. Alas, it's not.
A 2-year-old in Brooklyn, New York, dropped his teddy bear, aptly named Mr. Bear, in his school's playground. His mother didn't realize until later that night, but by the next morning, Mr. Bear was gone without a trace.
So like any good mother (or bear grandmother), Susannah Bortner posted "lost" signs on which she offered baked goods and good karma for Mr. Bear's safe return. Finally she got a response from two people claiming to be holding Mr. Bear against his itty-bitty will. In return for his life, the teddy bear kidnappers demanded $10,000 worth of gluten-free, peanut-free cupcakes.
Sounds like a delicious deal to us. According to the Brooklyn Paper's story, Bortner would be willing to bake that many cupcakes if this weren't a hoax.
But it probably is.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.