Food News

The Chew Cast Makes Christmas Ornaments and Ball Jokes (Video)

Here's our conundrum for the day. When Clinton Kelly shows the cast of The Chew (and us) how to make handcrafted Christmas ornaments, we thought, "How clever -- this is just like Martha Stewart."

Then we realized that chef Mario Batali was making ornaments alongside Clinton, Daphne Oz, and Carla Hall, and we got sad. Really sad. Is there something about Mario we don't know? We're thinking a possible Croc-wearing addiction in which he's squandered his entire restaurant empire on plastic clogs in cheerful colors. 

Or a blackmail attempt. The Chew's producers might have

incriminating photos of Batali ordering in from Pizza Hut or Sbarro's.

If they leaked out, that's the end of his career, for sure.


can't help wondering why on Earth there would be a reason Batali

would actually want to make Christmas ornaments and crack ball jokes. Sigh. Yes, ball jokes. Lots of them.

Here's your weekly dose of The Chew humiliation:

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss