Perez Hilton noted today that The Chew's Christmas episode with Dancing With the Stars' Maksim Chmerkovskiy hit an all-time viewership high with 2.7 million people watching the unwatchable show.

Hilton also noted that this was week two in which the foodcentric talk show hit a new ratings high.

Honestly, we're not sure what to make of this news. To Clean Plate Charlie, The Chew is sort of like our Kim Kardashian or Dan Quayle. The brain part of you would like them to go away, but there's that little voice inside that says, "If they leave... who is left to mock?"

Case in point: Watch this tip from Daphne Oz for keeping our open champagne cold and bubbly while holding a fake dog, as her Chew castmates linger around the fake fireplace, looking like something out of an Addams Family cartoon, starring Clinton Kelly as Gomez (complete with pipe and smoking jacket), Carla Hall as Morticia, and Michael Symon as Uncle Fester, after the jump. Happy Chew Year!

Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.

• Food News