The Five Best Restaurants in Which to Break Up | Clean Plate Charlie | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida

Food News

The Five Best Restaurants in Which to Break Up

Valentine's Day prompts some of us to evaluate our relationship status. The result is a peak in breakups just before or after the holiday.

Rather than sever things over g-chat, texts, Post-Its, or Facebook announcements (I wish I were joking), show your guy or girl you have a set by breaking up face to face, in someplace less personal than one of your houses.

Before we list the best places to break up, a few rules.

1) The less boozy the breakup, the better.
2) Be sure to choose a place with attentive service to minimize awkwardly long waits and excuses to get pissed off.
3) Never choose a place that valets your car.
4) Keep it classy. Don't choose a fast-food joint or someplace equally as soulless, regardless of how fast you'd like things to move along. The go to hell conveyed by taking a soon-to-be ex to McDonald's is absurd.

After the jump, our curated list for best places for breaking up.

5) Brew Urban Cafe: To get it over with
Meet here before work, deliver your news, and fuel up on caffeine for your first day of freedom.

4) Tap 42: For a fast rebound
Plenty of good-looking people in a packed bar make this an an equal-opportunity place for a fast rebound. And it's crowded enough so there's little chance of drawing others' attention as you deliver the news.

3) Original Fat Cat's: For easy escape
Terrific beer might distract you from the angst you're feeling before a breakup. Fat Cats offers friendly service and easy escape routes to duck over to another bar once you're through.

2) Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor: To eat away your sorrows
What better place to drown sorrows than this ice cream institution? Though we ranked its kitchen sink as the 2011 best dessert, if you're here to break up, choose something that doesn't take so long to eat and does not require sharing.

1) Primanti's: Best breakup place, period

A bad relationship is like a hangover. And what better way to move on

from a hangover than some grease? Primanti's view of the ocean makes for a lovely backdrop; how can you

be depressed on a sunny day at the beach? Fast service and decent pizza

by the slice help too. If necessary, you can pound a beer or two before

doing the deed.

New Times on Facebook | Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook | Melissa on Facebook | Clean Plate Charlie on Twitter | Melissa McCart on Twitter | E-mail Melissa |

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Food Critic
Contact: Melissa McCart

Latest Stories