Halloween is around the corner, and every year, you run into the same problem -- do you wear the sexy or funny costume? Our answer is, as always -- it depends on whether you want to get laid... ever.
Here is a collection of Halloween costumes that are truly terrifying... and for all the wrong reasons. Weird, tacky, and just plain politically incorrect -- we bring you the ten dumbest food costumes ever.
10. Spoon and Fork - Besides the fact that this is a couples costume (which, once again, brings up the sad reality that we're spending another Halloween single), we don't like the all-too-obvious sexual references here at the Clean Plate Charlie office/Sunday school: That spooning leads to forking.
9. Bologna - So you wanted to be Lady Gaga for Halloween but the beef jerky kept getting stuck in your sewing machine. It's understandable that you resorted to buying a costume, but the packaged lunchmeat just wasn't the way to go, buckaroo.
8. Spaghetti and meatballs? - So we think this is a spaghetti and meatballs costume... then we saw the giant eyeballs on top. Here's the thing with costumes -- pick one idea. You can either be spaghetti and meatballs or a strange alien creature... because if you try to be both, people will obviously think you're starting a new religion and worship your tentacles... or noodles.
7. Beer Pong - Worse than the couples costume is the group costume. Now you have to find five friends who not only want to dress like you on Halloween but also want to walk around all night with no use of their hands. On the bright side -- if they have to pee, they can just go in a cup.
6. Milk Carton - Have you seen this person? He was last seen at Bob's Tavern... looking like a douchebag! Seriously, dude. Do you think anyone is going to actually look for the person who thinks this costume is funny?
5. Baby Lobster in a Pot - Hey, Harry! Why are you carrying around a big pot of crawfish? Wait. What? No... that's no baby in there. So where's the baby? -- See? If you've ever forgotten where you left your keys, this is potentially a really, really bad idea.
4. Dinner Table - Cons: the costume's too big to fit through doors, hard to go to the bathroom. Pros: You can tell people "eat me" all night and justify your behavior.
3. Mushroom - "It's not. Yeah, I know it looks like it... but it's not. No, it's supposed to be a mushroom. No... it's not... it's a giant mushroom. Yes, I'm sure. No, really... it said mushroom on the package... No, my name's not Richard."
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SHOW ME HOW
2. Pizza - Someone's watching a little too much bad porn...
1. Bun in the Oven - Ha Ha! This may be funny now, but junior is going to need a lot of therapy when you pull out the ol' photo album for his friends. Though, on the other hand, when you think the only other costume options for pregnant women are nun and MTV reality star, this starts to actually look good.