If I don't show up for work on Monday, you'll know what happened: I'll have eaten myself to death, the victim of a five-pound in total beef burger smothered with enough bacon, cheese, and fried eggs to keep Denny's running though a busy Sunday morning.
This weekend, I'm going to attempt to eat the monstrous burger known as "the Beast" at Bokamper's Sports Bar & Grill in Plantation. Why in the holy hell would I do such a thing? Because I was dared to, that's why. And because one of my friends is doing it, and friends stick together. And because if I die to a burger, I know I'll at least have lived well.
So just how big is Bokamper's Beast? "It starts with a three pound beef patty, eight slices of bacon, four slabs of cheese, and four farm-fresh fried eggs," says restaurant manager Cindy Naylor. The heart-stopper costs $29.99, but is entirely free if you eat the whole plate -- excluding the comparatively small cadre of French fries it comes with -- in under one hour.
Succeed, and you'll be enshrined on the Bokamper's Wall of Fame, complete with a picture and your name on a plaque. It's an honor made more special by the rare company.
"Only four out of 83 people have finished it," says Naylor.
Every time someone at least attempts to finish the Beast, though, it's a big fat deal. Bokamper's staff parade the burger around the dining room, play the Rocky theme song, and announce the challengers name over the restaurant-wide PA. Usually, says Naylor, people are very excited to take on the challenge.
But at the end of it? Not so much.
"There's one guy that did it, and his picture is questionable because he's smiling way to much," she quips. "But the rest of them look like they're going to burst."
Me? I plan on beating it or bursting in the process.
Bokamper's Sports Bar & Grill
1280 S. Pine Island Rd.,