Top Five Phallic Food Creations for V Day

All the single ladies need not worry on Valentine's Day, the most romantic of them all. There's no need to whip around your ring finger with worry. Rejoice in the fact that there is no man tying you down! 

We encourage you pretty women to hunker down on V Day for a good meal with friends. Enjoy some fine red wine, and play some angry grrl music. But the pièce de résistance? Eat your favorite phallic foods.

Sure, bananas are obvious, but after the jump, see five other food creations that would make your ex jealous.

5. Adam and Eve penis cake

Chow down on some delicious cake. Hey, it's shaped like a penis, but when the Bible talked about the snake in the forbidden garden, did it literally mean... a snake?

4. Penis pasta
Channel your inner Elizabeth Gilbert and eat, pray, and love the dish.

The Michigan Daily took these cookies very seriously. Our advice? Cover them in sprinkles and frosting for consuming. The more raunchy you can make them, the better!

Celebrate like it's the weekend. When your boss asks why you're so hungover, just tell him the truth.

These phallic loaves of crusty goodness were apparently an accident. That's a mighty impressive accident, though.

Follow Clean Plate Charlie Facebook on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Devin Desjarlais