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Tropical Storm Isaac Has Passed: Five Alternative Uses for Canned Tuna

Tropical Storm Isaac has passed South Florida on its way up the coast. While we're still in for a lot of wind and rain today, we're pretty much out of the storm's path. The only problem is that now you have to move all those plants back outside and figure out what to do with a garage filled with canned tuna, water, and D batteries. 

It's not so bad, really. Everyone needs pure, delicious drinking water, and those batteries can last up to a thousand years in a landfill, so just save them for next year. 

As for all that tuna? 

Well, you could feed it to the cat, or you can try one of our five supercreative and completely unhinged ways to use canned tuna. Just add mayo (or some voltage) and enjoy!

Sing to It

We never thought we'd get all teary-eyed over a love song for a canned seafood product, but this song is pretty darned heartfelt. Look, if Taylor Swift can write songs about every single boyfriend, then a girl can sing a song about seafood. After all, remember the old saying "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"?  And when was the last time a man tasted good on rye toast?

Dance With It

What do you get when you cross Japanese anime with some punk band's cover of the Bumble Bee jingle? All kinds of random acts of awesomeness!

Make a Tuna Sandwich

Wow! So you take the tuna out of a can, mix in some mayo, and put the fishy/creamy glob between two slices of bread? What do you call this culinary delight? A tuna sandwich! Thanks for the tutorial. We never would have thought of it otherwise.

Allow Sandra Lee to F**k With It
Looks like Sandra's gotten into the secret hurricane vodka stash again. Here's Lee's attempt at being continental with her recipe for niçoise on a roll. Which is a fancy-schmancy name for a tuna-and-egg-salad combo. Watch as our favorite nonchef tells us where olives come from (Italy, Spain, Greece, the supermarket), and delight in the way she actually uses some fresh ingredients (guess she couldn't find canned lettuce). Delightful.

Just Electrocute the Stuff
The Environmental Defense Fund says that there's so much mercury in tuna that it's safe for a child to eat it only about once a month (an adult can eat it three times a month). Well, if you can't eat it... we say just electrocute it. Apparently someone thought up the same thing. Warning: Do not try this at home. Allow some random YouTube person to do it for you.

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss

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